Days 104-106

Stayed up with headache and almost total lack of motivation to write book annotations last night, then drove to the main post office to get this month's packet in the post this morning. It will be late by a day -- my first academic transgression -- but I'm trying to forgive myself. April has not been easy. Right now, I would dearly love to not read or write another word for at least a week. But I can't...


Now have 10 page essay to work on as well as my other writing and reading, and my teacher wants it all EARLY!!! Roll on June, when all I have to do is haul my a** to Vermont and sit on it for 10 days!

Days 102-3

Small child with scarlet fever + MFA packet due = aaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Day 102

Writing, writing, deadline approaching and still not done. Might have to scrape and beg an extra day. Still 2 book write-ups to do, too. Usually they're the first thing I get done, and now I'll be rushing them like an undergraduate, but without the time and youthful energy or any of the chemical benefits from which today's teens seem to 'benefit.' I'm realizing how valuable are my three hours on a Sunday morning with a sitter coming to look after the kids. Somehow, the loss of that time over the month -- a total of about 12 hours in April what with Easter, etc -- has floored me.

Why is it the busier and tireder I am, the more I am able to successfully write a blog entry?

Day 101

"Oranges are Not the Only Fruit" but there's no writer like Jeanette Winterson. Good to have the excuse to go back to her, though Easter rather got in the way!

DAY 100

Yay -- but like the President, the report card is not all glowing!  Also like him, such a big undertaking, so many long term goals that feel frustrating when looked at only partway finished. It's all about the process, of course, but it's hard not to want it all finished and published and shiny already!

Only about 400 more days to go till graduation!!!

Days 93-99

Almost at one hundred days! As is no doubt clear from my recent paucity of posts, the balance between mommying, teaching and being a student has been tipping me dangerously away from my studies. I have been trying to play catch up this week, after the children's spring break, two dentist visits, two doctor visits, hubby's birthday, and numerous other small items pertaining to life with two bubbly, crazily energetic small children.

Have read Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye" and Coetzee's "Disgrace," along with Harriet Jacobs' "Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl," all amazing. So many other books piled up beside my bed. I also started watching the "Seven & Up" series on DVD -- powerful and helpful reminders of the England of my childhood.

I'm writing about my time two summers ago teaching on the Upward Bound program for first generation college students. It's a traumatic tale in a quite different realm from my grandmother's death. The words just keep tumbling out, which is thrilling and exhausting, too.

So, upward!

Days 91 and 92

Writing going better than expected. Really excited about what I'm reading too, and the whole book project is coming into focus. Ideas given to me on my way to teach, on my bicycle - in a state of creative frenzy. Thrilling, really. But we're away this weekend, so not so many days to achieve all my wild imaginings...

Days 89 and 90

Losing track of the days...

Children back at school, tears and excitement, and now I must return in earnest to my studies. Racing through "The Bluest Eye" -- an amazing read, and  writing about my experiences two summers ago here in SC -- a painful but necessary return.


Somehow got to get ahead before the summer vacation...

Days 83-88

Kids on spring break, so enforced break for me too -- much needed. In between playdates and visits to the park and Chick Fil-A, I have managed to read Harriet Jacobs' slave narrative, watch a bit of "Roots," go to a reading by Richard Rubin and begin my new chapter... not so shabby really. As for teaching, my students and I are tired -- all written out, I think. Only three more weeks till the end of the semester, then a glorious handful of weeks when, God willing, I can write almost everyday. Good thing, since that 10 page essay is looming, as well as another packet due...

My children are so beautiful with sweet happiness this week. I wish they were this rested and free all the time. I know school is important on so many levels, but I'm beginning to see the attractions of home schooling (not till I've finished the Masters though!).

Days 80-82

Finished off and mailed my third packet, then tried to clear and organize my desk, ready for the next month -- a new chapter to write, one about which I am especially nervous, since it involves race issues with which I'm still grappling in an embarrassingly elementary way. But the process is so wonderful -- all my brain cells tingling.

The biggest challenge will be getting anything started next week when the children are on spring break. Hopefully I can squeeze in some reading and thinking, and then start on the writing the week following. I am not reading as much as I'm meant to or want to. My brain is screaming at me to SLOW DOWN and that's where I end up doing things most slowly, but in part because I am not just reading but teaching myself, line by line, page by page. Morrison's "Beloved" is a marvelous case in point. The pile by my bed just grows and grows...