Sent and received back comments on my first packet of work with new
teacher, Bernard Cooper. He is astute but doesn't cushion the blow with
any female padding, so I reeled for a day, then got determined, then
reeled bit more, procrastinated, and finally today sat down and began
again. My confidence is seriously wavering. I know I can do this now --
write, but how to put together a coherent manuscript is another thing
altogether. Agggghhhhh.
Have been reading like crazy -- Geoff Dyer's "Out of Sheer Rage"
-- amazing stuff, and thinking, thinking about the essay I have to write
and then turn into a lecture. Ambiguity. Ach -- it's so exciting and so
exhausting that it's giving me a headache. I need yoga and I need a
break already. I can see why two years is the extent of the MFA course.
When you start, you think you'll want to do this forever, but it's
pretty unforgiving. Of course, the pressure is what's needed, but a body
needs to stop at some point along the way!
Trying to fit it all in in my three 'free' mornings, in between
grading and getting ready for my classes. The kids are wonderful -- so
full of life and loving to play outside these warm winter days. And next
week I have a birthday party to plan. My little one is turning five.
