Day 129

Pedicure!

(Also started reading my peers' work for the upcoming residency -- such a relief to read these instead of write my own!)

Day 128

Packet in the mail. Went to my son's field day and then Marshall's with my mum!

Day 127

Does it make you a bad student or an enlightened individual to sending out work you know is imperfect and feel okay about it?

Days 124-126

Essay. Edits. Up till 1 a.m. just like a real student, except without any artificial stimulation!

Days 121-123

Essay, essay, aggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... (To essai = to try) (I'm trying to remember that).

Days 115-120

Have successfully avoided working on my essay this week by writing my own stuff instead -- great, except I still have to write the essay. At least I know I wasn't meant to be doing a literature degree instead.
Got my packet of peer work for the upcoming residency, and Dinah Lenney as a teacher. Very excited!
The weekend, alas, has been a storm of small-person emotions and parents not dealing very well. Monday tomorrow, then Grandma is coming...maybe I'll get some work done, bu then again...

Days 113-114

Spent part of the morning with my daughter making sure she was well enough to go to school, part sorting folders, and part writing with a total lack of confidence in the product and its direction. Just can't seem to find the motivation -- need a 'gathering' time -- totally happy to read and sort, just not to write another word...

Mother's Day yesterday? Not the best, though there was a moment of pure loveliness when we finally reached the mountains, got out of the car, found a streamside walk and they just RAN! There's a metaphor in there somewhere but I'm too tired to go searching for it.

Day 112

Actually began work on the dreaded 10-page essay while my daughter did Disney computer games and developed a 104 fever. This is the perhaps the classic tableau of a mother trying also to be a student.
Now I just have to finish it in some vaguely intelligent way and then write 20 new pages before May 21...hmmmmm...

Days 109-111

My mind is peach fuzz. Trying to sort through all I have to do for the upcoming residency in June, while also attempting to create new work. Agghhh. Sat in bed this morning and read Alice Sebold's "Lucky" as a kind of escape from it all -- talk about lucky. What a wonderful way to 'work!' If only it was all that simple and pleasurable. The book, of course, is traumatic, but riveting.

Kids seem to be getting sick again, so who knows if my planned work intensive month will materialize, but never forget I am lucky, lucky, lucky to have them, and that it was my son who was my first real muse. Bless them both and their sweet craziness.

Days 107-108

While the whole world goes crazy, I am typing up notes from "Trauma and Recovery" and Morrison's "The Bluest Eye" and Coetzee's "Disgrace" and going to yoga, where we say a mantra for the peace and well being of all beings. It's hard to focus when you feel like your countrymen are drawing down hatred and retribution upon themselves...